senile superman

[mckee]

The overall 2012 PHA champion is a 70 year old tar heel who put down his squirrel gun, extinguished his still and journeyed north with his ridge running alcohol hauler in tow -- this winged whiskey hauler is outfitted with special tanks allowing it to haul up to a full quart of illegal bootleg martinis. Entering all 8 PHA events the old man thought the revenuers had cornered him at 5 of the hill climbs, causing him to flee at high speed to avoid capture and subsequent long incarceration as a habitual offender. In his haste to get away from the feds our 2012 overall champion was timed at speeds that earned him FTD honors for those 5 weekends. At two more events he thought the Mr. Evil Mustang was a cop car, causing him to again flee at extreme speeds. However, due to his ever present martini load (literally) he only posted times good enough for 2nd place. Somehow he towed all the way to Jefferson and forgot what he was doing there. So he took a ride around the property to check for the aforetomentioned revenuers, running fast enough that no hidden pursuit cars could ambush him, but not fast enough to attract unwanted attention. In so doing he coincidentally set 6th fastest time. Somehow over a full racing season the old man had dropped only 7 out of a possible 800 points, although he thought the only thing he had dropped was his prized crystal martini glass.

Thus a combination of fear of capture, general paranoia and deteriorating recent recall motivated our new champion to become the PHA capo de tuti capos.

I suggest George's award be something he can really use: e.g.; seeing eye dog, wheeled walker, memory lessons, a decent police radar detector, a good GPS to keep him on the right road (ever get lost at a hill climb, George?), etc, etc. In the future he'll probably limit himself to autocrosses where they mark the courses with hundreds of orange cones, making getting lost unlikely.

George's achievement this year cannot be explained in any other rational way. What he did was impossible, setting a standard that likely will never be met again. I'd offer my heartiest congratulations but I doubt if he'd know what I was talking about and further, I do not want to encourage his outrageous extracurricula behavior.

I will say that no matter how George did it, I am thoroughly in awe.

Bob D'Amore

[mrevilracing]

Hey Nelson,

You wanted something for the newsletter??? Just copy and paste the above.

Bob

Thank you for taking the time to sit down and write such an entertaining story! Excellent read to start one's day.

[Sue Salsburg]

Bob - we missed you at the hills. Got a new motor for the Jag & she wanted to take you for a ride. PS for those who didn't know: Bob used to race a Jag MK2 back in the days when it was a serious race car.

[jerdeitzel]

Very nice write up!

Congrats to George for a great season.

[tedebayer]

Great post Bob!
George took his sword at the Dragon III Hillclimb as well!

http://pahillclimb.net/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2833