half empty or half full?

[griffinbilt]

hello everybody!!!
so it has been a little while since i logged in..

much has happened to me since last season...currently i have thor's old orange scirocco 8v... i completely intend to race it this season as a 16v...much needs to be done though...
i need to repair the sub-standard 6 point bolt in roll cage, rework those crappy coil over spring and shock deals, install 16v wireharness, remove and replace the 8v engine with 16v, purchase new tires and do a couple other things yet...

so i guess the topic of my conversation has 2 points..
on april 28th i lost a friend who was as close to me as you can be with out being gay...his name was ben "beaner" lyons. he died in a heinous car wreck. he was too drunk to drive and let his friend drive his 93 vr-6 corrado. his friend and drunken beaner were flogging his car on a road with an infamous 90 degree left hand corner at the end of a huge straight. bottom line is his buddy sean could not get the car to slow down in time from like 130mph to make the corner and crashed into 2 trees at 80 mph. beaner bit it right away...no pain.

he was more then a friend to me though.. he used to live with me and my brother, i got him a job as a locksmith at age 18. i trained him as a technician, taught him about life and how to live as an adult as i know it so far. taught him of the "force". perpetuated his interest in volkswagens he looked up to me as a father figure..we partied hard together and i considered him a brother. he died at age 22.

words can't really explain how much he ment to me and it was vice versa for him. i would take a bullet any day of the week for him.

what does this all mean for me and racing??

i am not so sure between losing beaner and wrecking hard at hershey that i'm going to have the piss and vinegar i used to compete with..i want to get back out, but my car is really sub standard to how it needs to be. things at my house have come to a stand still and it's hard for me to do anything...laundry, food, typing on the computer, talking to his acquaintances who used to know him when he slung weed 5 years ago and think they still knew him when he died..... (f***ing parasites).... that kinda stuff.
so between working and filling in his on call schedule for the summer and everything else that's killing me, i am not sure how many events i'm going to race this year... or if i can feel comfortable driving like a lunatic again.

life is kinda hilarious.. he did the right thing and let his buddy drive due to his intoxication level and it still killed him in the end.. i am pretty sure he was going to bite it that evening due to the conversation we had 4 hours earlier that night.. it had to be that way though, otherwise he would not be saint beaner. he would be that bad guy that still died in the driver seat and his buddy sean would still be in the hospital.


bottom line....you only have control of your life to a certain point. so you gotta love as much as you can and live exactly as you want to.

i love you all and will be seeing everybody soon

-ryan griffin
aka mr. excitement himself

[FV95]

Ryan, A ton of things could be said...but for everyone's sake, this will be brief. I am sorry to hear about your close friend.
Now, if you are thinking of racing at all, consider trying the car as an 8V in the slower class, and come at it gently, from the bottom up. If it doesn't feel right, turn your back on it. On the other hand, it may be like "getting back on the horse' thing and your interest and spirits will be fired up for a return to the fray. Good luck in your decision process.
John

[Steve Tumolo]

I have never met you Ryan and you have no idea who I am. But I can understand how you are feeling. I went through the same thing in 2003. One of my best friends Dell Griffen died in a crash while driving the same RX-7 that he raced in on the street (the car was street legal). I had a real bad wreck at the Pagoda Hillclimb 2002 that totalled my Mustang. At Giants Despair (I think it was the next event) my friend offered to let me co-drive his RX-7. I had brought him into my family years before and introduced him to the SCCA so he would not take no as an answer. I ended up beating him and claiming the record in the class. As you can imagine we had a great deal of fun over that. That January on a late nite he hit black ice and slid into a bridge. He was gone and I had no idea how I would ever bring myself to get into a car again. On Hillclimb weekends he was never not with us. It was REALLY tuff. But I convinced my self that he would not want me to hang up the helmet. Every time I get into my race car either on a pace lap for a roadrace or pulling to the line in a hillclimb I talk to Dell because I know he is with me ready to go for a ride. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. And for that reason I can't let him down by parking the car.

Everyone is different and we all deal with things in different ways. But if you want my opinion build the car anyway you want as fast as you want!!!! Pull up to the line ask your friend if he is ready to go and plant your foot on the floor!!! If you let it, racing can be just the thing you need to help get through!!!

[JERIC]

Ryan,
What would your buddy want you to do? Give up something you love to do? I doubt it. Do what you have to the the cage to make it safe run it as a 8v and see how you feel. I think you will be back to your old self after a couple of runs, Just remember he will be riding with you. Racing is all about having a good time and being around people you enjoy.
do what you feel you have to and good luck.
Eric, Thors older brother and the one who got the VW you now have running in the 1st place

[timurf]

Sorry to hear of the loss Ryan, condolences to yourself and all those who were close. Thanks for giving the club an opportunity to be supportive.

Unfortunately life can be a double edged sword, and dealing with loss is just one of those shitty things we gotta suffer through as we get older and there's not a darned thing any of us can do to change that. But what we do have on our side is friends and activities to distract us from cruel fate. C'mon out to a hillclimb when you are ready and we can provide both.

Keep your head up big guy; keep listening to the Minutemen.